By Jennifer B Baxt, LMFT, LMHC

Despite the common misconception among many single people, marriage is not easy. It takes a lot of work because life takes a lot of work. Life can be difficult and complicated enough for a single person, so when another person is involved it can become more complicated. Money is one of the many reasons that a marriage can break up, especially if times of financial distress has continued over a lengthy period of time. In fact, financial stress appears to be the cause of about 80 percent of all divorces. This goes to show just how stressful financial trouble can be for a couple who are both affected by it. (more…)

By Dr. Noah H. Kersey, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Noah and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Being highly effective in a relationship requires certain qualities in a person.

Scripture instructs, as in 1 Peter 4:8 to “love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”. The Bible is replete with descriptions and lessons of love but, why do people continue to fail?

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale once said that relationships fail because of “selfishness” and “immaturity”, explaining why so many marriages end in divorce.

Couples tend to marry young, and before they have a chance to know themselves and to learn many of life’s lessons about self-esteem, love and relationships.

Over a twenty-seven year period of therapeutic work with individuals and couples, watching some fail and others succeed, a factor analysis was calculated, attempting to understand what were the characteristics and behaviors, or “habits” of people who were highly effective in their relationships.

(more…)

By: Cory B Honickman

Click here to contact Cory and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Love Economics is a new terminology for analyzing the benefits of love and relationships. For example, the benefits of a relationship include emotional, physical, social and materialistic needs. Using the theory of Love Economics, dating and relationship problems can be analyzed and solved by using a more pragmatic approach. The advantage is that decisions will be based more on logic rather than on emotion. Before committing to a new relationship, a Love Economist will make it perfectly clear that he/she won’t neglect their social portfolio of personal friends. This decision could save a lot of embarrassment should they break up with their love interest. A Love Economics major will limit their emotional cost at all times to protect their own expenditure. This philosophy doesn’t work for everyone, especially when going through something as dramatic as a breakup. Whether you are breaking up from a relationship or going through a divorce it’s inevitable that you will feel emotional pain. No amount of Love Economics or pragmatism is going to protect you from experiencing the lows that only humans can relate to. After all experiencing love can make you feel the most jubilant and satisfying emotions while losing love can make you feel the most devastating feelings of sadness and pain.
(more…)

By: Michael Picucci, Ph.D., M.A.C., S.E.P.

Click here to contact Michael and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Most people in the “recovery” or “therapy” process yearn for sexual healing. I make this statement as a therapist and as a human being who has facilitated myself and many others on the journey.

Sexual healing is the shame-free revisiting of complex sexual histories, limitations and perceptions combined with new awareness, understanding, and compassion. In the process of this rejuvenation, we learn how to merge our spiritual and sexual energies. The “sexual-spiritual split” is a culturally induced, deep psychic schism that haunts relationships and precludes emotional fulfillment. Resolving this powerful inner conflict is necessary for true body, mind and spirit connections. (more…)

By Mitchell Milch, LCSW

Click here to contact Mitchell and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Introduction

When we thoughtlessly and impulsively react to feelings of anger, anger becomes a weapon. It is as if we are running red lights at intersections and putting ourselves and others in grave danger. Many of us are emotionally color blind at the intersection between feeling, thought and action precisely because like any intersection these events appear connected in a logical sequence. When we take out our experiences of anger on others we tend not to slow down long enough to recognize that what seems logical may not be. Furthermore, what we want to see as a green light is really an impulse running through what under calmer and cooler circumstances ought to be our consciences and reality testing/judgment flashing red lights. If the red light is flashing we are moving too quickly and relentlessly to slow down and pay attention. The consequences of our actions once the dust settles are most often injurious to both parties individually, and their relationship. Having worked as a social worker in a criminal court in Connecticut I know from experience that the jails and prisons in this country are populated by folks who have both used anger as a weapon as well as by those who sincerely believe they were victims of such aggression and were acting in self defense. (more…)

By: Jennifer B Baxt, LMFT, LMHC

It is not uncommon for a family to have a history of depression. There are many cases where an individual who is suffering from depression does not appear to have an actual reason for suffering the depression. This is where this person’s family history can help them out. There are some people who appear to be genetically depressed, meaning that their family history shows that previous generations appear to have suffered the same problems. Genetic depression is still far from being fully understood. Studies are still being done in order to understand how genetic depression is passed down and how it can be treated in people before it becomes a real problem. (more…)

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanine and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Last night, while contemplating the merits of microdermibrasion versus the photo facial with my Polish friend Justyna, I began to think about how her culture probably isn’t seduced by the quick fix as easily as we are in the United States. The conversation called to mind for me a time when I was attending a parenting class when I was pregnant. During each class, I asked a myriad of questions of my instructor about the efficacy of all the baby accoutrement from the portable bottle warmer (“Why would you need that if you’re breastfeeding?” she asked), to which diaper bag was the most streamlined and spacious and which high tech crib was the most comprehensive and effective. She told the class in response to my crib questions that she and her boyfriend had used a plastic 5 dollar laundry basket as a bassinet and this suited her baby perfectly. Then she looked at me directly and sliced and diced me like a hundred television knives that hold that promise of revolutionizing your world and said, “You like gimmicks, don’t you?” (more…)

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanine and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Sometimes the women I coach come to me as a last ditch effort in attempt to create a happy life. Many times they say, “I’ve tried everything and nothing worked, or at least nothing worked permanently.” Many of them have lost the weight, but gained it back. They attracted who seemed to be Mr. or Ms. Right, but the relationship went sour. They made the money but blew it. They had or have “it all”, but they still feel unhappy. (more…)

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanine and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

“A little more matriarchy is what the world needs, and I know it. Period. Paragraph.”
~Dorothy Thompson

Before last year’s New Year, many people asked me what my New Year’s resolutions might be. I’ve always liked the idea of starting anew and consciously developing aspects of one’s life in order to live more fully. However, much of the well intended query made me uncomfortable. As soon as I told my friends what I wanted to create, they immediately started in with, “How are you going to make it happen” and “What steps are you going to commit to in doing this”. As I coach, I know as well as anyone that if you want to create something that has eluded you, you do want some kind of action plan. But, the intent of their questions, which felt more like a police interrogation, had a somewhat desperate, intense and frankly unappealing energy about it. (more…)

By Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LAC, LISAC

Click here to contact Debra and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Not too long ago, a client who I was treating for prescription drug abuse, looked at me and said, “It’s my desperate need to silence my feelings that drives me to want to use.”  She went on to describe what it felt like to live in her skin.  “It’s as if the people in my life are at the controls of this rollercoaster called my life and I’m trapped and I can’t get off.  I like or hate the ride based on how I feel about them at that moment; in my mind you’re either with me or against me. But I can’t fire them from the controls!” (more…)